Some days, I want to pack it all in.

Ugh, it is that time of year when job stuff comes around again. Basically, I'm in a role that gets renewed annually, so it's not like a perament position or anything. And that's really shit because of the lack of job security etc.; I could actually be on the other side of the world this time next year doing more or less the same thing but at a different university. After a while, the moving gets old. Also, I felt like I just went through the job merry go round shit and I'm not ready to do it again, I think.

I also often have dreams when I am participating
in competitive eating and being a super viking
at it, but that seems more a product of gluttony
than actually wanting to be a competitive eater.

Last night I was really stressed out about jobs and I had this awesome dream that I just decided not to do my real life job for a year and spend that year basically on my skates the whole time, and improving as a skater. It was amazing. The idea of being able to spend so much time working on something I really like was really exciting. I had training 3x a week, and the rest of the time I skated everywhere and got over my fear of outdoor skating on hills and stuff, and I would go to rinks and work on things and everything. And in my dream I got super good at derby over the year and could do backwards crossovers (on both sides) and pegassists and I understood derby strategy and was lead jammer ALL THE FUCKING TIME and nobody could touch me and nobody got munted.

Then I was like, "boo, that's not going to pay the bills," and I woke up. I do this a lot--I will be having an awesome dream and then my stupid pragmatic cynnical self will come and shit all over it and I will actually wake up because I realize that my dream isn't real. And now I am like, FUCK YOU, BRAIN.

But the idea has been planted in my mind. There aren't any professional derby leagues (thankfully I think), but how awesome would it be if you could just do derby all year and not have to worry about stuff like work and whatever else gets in the way?