Apparently derby isn't a proper sport, still

So last night, the awards ceremony for the best female athletes in Australia took place in Canberra. I remember voting for this: basically, there was a poll open to the public to name the best athletes (across any sport) in Australia, in an attempt to boost the profile of women in sport.

The top 25, and an article about it, is here. There are a lot of good athletes--Australia does have a very strong sporting presence--but what is notable is that ShortStop (who was voted MVP of Team Australia at the Roller Derby World Championships last year) won the popular vote, but didn't even make the top 25. Her name is in the "and here are the other people who got voted on" bit at the bottom of the article.

Shorty at Blood and Thunder, with the other MVPs

Of course, the women who did make the top 25 are fantastic athletes--they are world champions, Olympians, superstars in their own right. I think that they certainly deserve to be up there. But what pisses me off is that Sports Hydrant, the organizers of the event, put this to a vote, and then "moderated" the result. I also like how the reporter for the article describes the potential result that a derby girl could have won the popular vote as "alarming". Really? What's the point of asking the public to vote, if you don't care about the result they will give you?

What this suggests to me is that roller derby is still not seen as a legitimate sport. Even though it's clearly really popular (and certainly more so than, say, shooting paralympics which made the list), there's still something it is lacking before it will be recognized as a sport in its own right. I have no other explanation for why such moderation had to take place, but then I wouldn't know what was going through the minds of the organizers.

Consulting other halls of fame and sporting records (as the organizers did) disadvantages roller derby, which does not have an Olympic presence (most of the other sports listed do), or at least have a well-established championship. Blood and Thunder--the roller derby world championship--is only a year old. Of course, the current reincarnation of sport itself is also relatively new. But it is a sport. It demands just as much athleticism, strength and strategy as any other sport on that list. What else needs to be done to show that it is a legitimate sport, and not just some random passing fad?

I honestly don't know what justifies taking Shorty off the list. CRDL is the most successful sports team to come out of the Australian Capital Territory. Team Australia got congratulated in parliament by the Prime Minister for their performance at Blood and Thunder. I also don't see the point in trying to boost the profile of women athletes if you take one of the most popular sports that there is for women, and publicly strike down one of its most successful players from a list of the top female athletes in the country, in the one sport that has been primarily developed by women, for women. I think it's extremely disappointing that this happened, but in a way I'm not surprised that it has. I just don't know what else needs to be done for derby to get the recognition that it should have.

Update: Okay, according to this article, it's the fact that people wear fishnets and have derby names that makes it not a sport. Really? Try telling a boxer that boxing is not a real sport because they wear little silk shorts or have nicknames for when they are in the ring.

A cautionary tale

Like most people, I strongly dislike going to the dentist. I don't like the little high pitched drill things, I don't like how hygienists make you feel guilty about your teeth cleaning practices, I don't like the fact that when I leave I am thanking someone for making my teeth sore and my gums bloody. I also think that teeth are just pretty gross. So yeah, boo going to the dentist, indeed.

But you get free shit from the dentist, hooray.

Anyway, I finally braved going to the dentist today and got my teeth cleaned and whatnot, but one thing I was told was that I had like five cavities. FIVE. What the fuck. I didn't have any a year or so ago, and I don't even like candy. As far as I'm aware, my teeth don't look gross. I am usually pretty good about brushing and even flossing and burning my mouth with listerine, so really, WTF?

Okay, science time. Our teeth have microscopic grooves and pits. Sometimes food and other random stuff can get in there that you can't brush out. Cavities are caused by a bacteria in your mouth that eats all the random food particles. The bacteria is in your saliva as well, and when it eats the food and multiplies, boom, cavities.

Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood
And teaching would suit you still less.

You might be asking what this has to do with anything derbyish. Well, because in derby you use mouthguards and they are often covered in spit and other random disgusting shit (e.g. sweat, floor crud, whatever), they harbor bacteria as well, especially if you eat before/during practice and don't clean your teeth/mouthguard (seriously, who has time for that). Then when you don't clean your mouthguard, the bacteria grows on it, and then when you put your mouthguard back into your mouth you're basically shoving a bajillion bacteria into your mouth. Then they get at all those easy to eat food-covered random spots, and have a giant bacteria party.

EWWWWWW.

Okay, gross! Now how do you prevent it? My dentist said something pretty obvious: "you should be cleaning your mouthguard every time you use it." Yes, I felt dumb. I normally brush it with a toothbrush every other week or so, but you can also listerine it (although I did that with mine once and it dyed it green) and you should replace your mouthguard every 6 or so months. I've had mine for over a year. Yeah, so that is some pretty nasty shit.

So because I didn't clean or replace my mouthguard often enough, I have cavities, and I have to go back in and get a shit load of fillings done. Sadface. I hate those stupid drills.

MORAL OF THE STORY: If you don't clean your mouthguard out, this could be you:

SERIOUSLY. VOMIT.
(Not my mouth, to be clear)

More backwards blocking practice

So, derby has evolved a bunch and now there are new skills you need, like being able to transition, backwards crossovers, etc. There's a lot more focus on being able to skate backwards, for example, so you can hold up your 3-wall or whatever.

Form a pace line at a moderate pace. The first person in the pace line transitions so they are skating backwards, and right as they do that, the second person jams to get around them, so that the first person has to quickly react and block them. Usually you end up blocking someone with your shoulders as they charge you. Then once the second person gets past, the first person skates to the end of the line, and the second person turns around for the third person to charge them.

You'll end up with something like this:

Meowmix shows how it's done. (Photo: Derbylife)

Because you're 1) going backwards and 2) trying to cover the whole track, it can be pretty hard. Also, because of my height, I just kept getting facefuls of boob and trying not to get a shoulder in my eye or nose or whatever. Drills like this make me want to consider getting a hockey helmet with one of those face shields.

Protip: MOVE YOUR FEET. Juking while you are skating backwards is hard, but it is much more effective.

Backwards/forwards queen of the rink

Split the group into two. #1s all skate forwards, #2 skate backwards. Then you just play Queen of the Rink as usual! You hit other players; if they go out of bounds or fall, they're out. BUT: if you hit/get hit, you have to switch direction. So if you hit someone when you were skating forwards, then you have to turn around and skate backwards. And the person you hit (if they didn't fall) has to also switch direction too. Last one standing wins. :D

This one was really fun, and you don't even think much about the transitioning you're doing. It's tricky with direction of play/stop blocks though, but I think with practice, transitions and hits come easier even if you're not facing the direction your skates are going in.

This stinks.

Deodorizing stinky derby pads has just reached a new low at Casa de Mouse.

Normally after practice I air out my pads immediately on a clothes airer, and when it's sunny outside I put the clothes airer outside for the day so the sun can burn off whatever stink molecules are hanging out on my gear. But it hasn't been sunny lately, and because it's also been cold the windows at my house have also been closed a lot. So what this means is now my house smells like sweaty derby pads and breakfast burritos a lot.

This is what I've now resorted to:

Yep, that's one of those air freshener/deodorizer febreze candle things. To be fair, I am using my old old wristguards, since my fingers are still a bit munted and it's hard to slide my new wristguards on (given that the splits bend the opposite way that my fingers currently do), so these have some residual stank on them. They work fine, but they just smell pretty bad.

The idea is that hot air rises, so hopefully hot, deodorizing air will rise and destink the pads. I'm not confident this will work. The worst that can happen is that I go to practice smelling like sweaty hibiscus and pineapple (since the candle I got was some tropical flavored one, I think it had a stupid name like "Hawaiian Aloha" or something dumb).

But still... ew. It may be time to do a pad wash.

This shit is bananas.

Okay, so the NRV all-stars are having their opening bout tomorrow for the season. I'm on the bout production committee, and my job (at least for this bout) is to make some snack baskets for the teams and the refs. We have baskets; all I have to do is fill them for about $30.

Also now all the food has been on the ground next to my
stinky gear. At least everything is prepackaged. I call this
a food handling win.

I feel a little bit like a waterboy doing this. Also, I have an idea of how much a derby girl or boy eats (a LOT), and feeding that many people for virtually under $1 a person is pretty tough. Plus, you want the things to be nutritious to some extent, and/or be good sources of energy. And THEN presumably they've got to be relatively easy to eat; something prepackageed and edible with hands (with stinky wrist guards on, ew) would be the goal.

So off I went to the store. Shopping on a budget is hard; shopping on a budget with nutritional restrictions is even harder. I had to get lots of things that were on sale or were cheaper if you had a membership card from the grocery store. I actually ended up spending something like $38 but got a fair bit, and there are leftovers for next time as well. So this is waht the baskets look like:

The baskets don't look super terrible when they're filled.

This is what they have in them:

• Bananas (obviously)
• Chocolate chip cookies
• Peanut butter cookies
• Peanut butter cracker things
• Cheese cracker sandwich things
• Berry trail mix
• Random assorted mini candy bars
• Gummi bears
• Potato chips (you could get an assorted box of snack size ones for $10)

I assume I don't have to get each person one of everything; presumably these are supposed to supplement food that they already have with them. But yeah, I managed to cram them all into the baskets, and then also have some left to make a snack/thankyou box for the announcer (who is driving from Charlotte) and also possibly feed the NSOs.

Oh, and I also got a free box of cake mix from the store with some random store coupon, so tomorrow I'll make cupcakes for the NSOs; it's like they are always neglected in these cases and they work pretty damn hard. And that way I'm feeding pretty much everyone who has anything to do with the bout for under $40 because I am a champ. :D

FREE CAKE. YOU CAN KEEP YOUR NASTY HEALTHY FOOD.

 I just hope it's enough food for everyone... it's not like I'm Jesus or anything and can do magic food division.

SASHIMI AND BREADCRUMBS FOR EVERYONE!

Random reminder that I am in the South: when I went to load up my cart with bananas, the guy who was stocking them was looking and said "are you making banana puddin' or something?" and I said no and explained why I needed like 20 bananas, and then I was like "damn I really want banana pudding now, because that shit is tasty." I love southern food.

An away game!

Varsity Derby League took on the Blue Mountains Roller Derby League last night in their first travel bout of the season, and they won 244-168. I has a proud. :D

Of course, because of the time difference, I was getting the updates much after the fact. But if you check out VDL's facebook page you can see how it all went down. It looked like a pretty close bout.

In other news, I'll hopefully start bouting with the NRV B team in March, when they have their first away bout against Blackwater!

Feeding the baby

Okay, so we all know that eating the baby is when the jammer gets reabsorbed into the pack. Well, here's a strategy that banks on that, and also uses a lot of new skills and stuff. I'm not sure how I feel about this as a strategy just yet, because I think it'd be kinda hard to pull off, but anyway.

So the idea is that you induce a situation where the jammer gets absorbed by the pack. This is done basically by hitting the jammer out at the beginning of the jam, and then skating backwards to about turn 2 or something. The jammer that is hit out would have to follow you back to reenter behind you (or else get a cut). So this is what happens:

At the start, you have your packs as follows. Blue jammer hits yellow jammer out of bounds. Blue jammer skates backwards (or turns around and skates forwards, whatever) to about turn 2.

If Yellow Jammer doesn't catch on fast enough and just reenters, then she's cutting and that's a major right off the bat. But if she takes the bait (as it were), she can skate around the outside to reenter behind the blue jammer.

However, if the pack is moving, then Blue Jammer can make the Yellow Jammer reenter right between her and the pack:
 

I got tired of doing the individual skaters for the pack, so now they are giant blobs.

At the same time, if the Blue Blockers are slowly skating forward then the gap that yellow jammer should be reentering in is between the blue jammer and the blue blockers. So as yellow jammer approachers, blue jammer skates forward and yellow jammer reenters and gets immediately absorbed by the pack:

 

I call this "feeding the baby" because you're basically bringing the baby to the pack, as it were. But when we were trying this, it was contingent on a lot of things.

Firstly, the yellow jammer doesn't need to follow the blue one. She could just stand on the side of the track and not reenter until the blue jammer skates past her. Which, presumably she wouldn't do because that would defeat the purpose of the play. But that in itself is a good strategy for blue if they want to count down the clock, e.g. if they have blockers in the bin and are waiting for them to come back.


Have a look at what happens in this bout, around 16:30:

But, of course, the pack is (slowly) rolling forward so if the red blockers had taken off sooner the red jammer would have had less time. But this is pretty much the strategy that's being employed here.

However, then that means both jammers are both one down on their initial pass, so you'd have to skate a lap (since the pack is almost by turn 3 at this stage) and then skate another lap for your initial pass. That sounds tiring to me, and it might not be worth the energy. It might work well if you have a really slow opposing jammer or something but then that also assumes they are taking the bait, and their bench might be just screaming at them not to or something.

I guess the benefits for doing this would be to chance that the opposing (hit out) jammer would force the track cut, thereby making it pretty much a power jam, or she'll be so eaten that this jam basically guarantees no points for the opposition. And if she didn't take the bait then that counts down a lot of time too.

But yeah, this looks like a play to keep your eyes peeled for...

Frogger

I like this drill a lot. It's really easy and you can change it depending on the skill level of the people doing it. I don't know why it's called Frogger, but I guess there's a sense in which it's like the video game in that you have to move around obstacles (other skaters) and stuff?

This was the version I played as a kid. Oh, memories.

You start by making a pack with all the skaters in it and have the skating as a pack. This is really important for the drill. Then, the person running the drill (presuambly not in the pack) will call out specific commands either for the entire pack, or for individual people.

Commands you could call for the entire pack are:

• speed up
• slow down
• stop
• touch two people (to make sure that you were still close enough in the pack)
• (in theory I guess you could say stop and turn around but we didn't)

Then there were specific commands, so you'd call out someone's name and then say something like:

• go to the front
• go to the back
• go to the inside
• go to the outside
• hit [some other person]

and the last one was fun because if you were hitting or being hit, you might be on opposite ends of the pack and you'd have to find the other person while the pack was still moving.

We did this one for about 10 minutes, then had a break and then did it again. I really liked it, you have to look in all directions and people started calling out where there were holes that needed filling and moving people into the right spots and it worked really well and was pretty fun to boot.

Ab Fab February

I've been a little bit bleh with my fitness at practice, so Leap Year and I are going to try to do Ab Fab February. It's basically a workout you do every day (Sunday being breaks) where you start with something pretty easy (yesterday's was 15 sit ups, 5 pushups and a 15 second plank) and then increase that workload throughout the month.

The exercise chart looks like this:

I've done 1 and 2 already, so it's rest day, yay.

I think if I really tried I could do the 25 pushups and 100 situps etc. now, but I'd be angry and tired and this way it'll make me do more exercise overall. Plus if I did them now there would be no motivation for me to improve. I'm quite bad at exercising by myself (e.g. I'll start a run and then be like "fuck this, this is tiring" and go home), so having someone else doing this as well who can be my exercise buddy will hopefully help!

P.S. Hahaha Leap Year is called Leap Year because (obviously) she was born on Feb 29. So for her this-year birthday, her present to herself is 100 sit ups.