Boys, you have been adequately warned.

So about a month ago I met a guy and we went on a date. He seemed okay. He said he had been to another bout earlier in the year, and he knew some of the CRDL girls, so yeah. And he seemed to be sufficiently interested in derby (and other things we had in common, like nerdery and comic books and gaming and whatnot) to warrant going on a a second date.

I think I mentioned that there was a bout the week after or something. Obviously I'd be there, so he also bought a ticket so that we could hang out there. So, our second date was at a roller derby bout.

We sat in the suicide section with the other peeps from my league, and of course a lot of what we (as in me and the other people in the league, not me and him) were doing was analysing what was going on in each jam, how the packs were formed, where the holes were, strategy and whatnot. I think I also made some effort to explain what was going on to him as well, but it's hard to do that and also watch the jams, you know? Or something would happen and I'd react and he would be like "what just happened" kind of thing.

Anyway, after that there is a post-bout party, so we went to that. And of course there was a lot of derby talk, and watching derby videos on people's phones and random hipchecking. That was also when Sarge told me and Boudica that we were going for our white star reassessments. I wanted to stay and talk to the people in the league, but I was pretty sure he was getting antsy so we made our excuses and left. Plus, I had my reassessment the next day, right? I was also giving one of the ladies in my league a ride home, so (probably sadly for him) there wasn't any at-the-car-makeout-session or whatever, if that was what he was after.

I got a message from him the next day saying something like "I had fun at the bout. Usually I'm okay to hold my own among strangers, but whe 90% of the discussion is "derby derby derby" I find it hard to keep up. Next time I will be ready for it."

Next time?

I don't think so.

The moral of the story is this: derby will come first. You fuck with that at your own peril.