Guaranteed to offend

So today for shits and giggles I randomly googled "Derby Jesus" to see what would come up (and also because I wanted to know if other leagues also had a Derby Jesus or what), and I came across this link on the first page. It's some discussion forum for a Baptist Church in Iowa where the topic of discussion is "Roller Derby? Is it safe for a heterosexual like me?"

This kind of Baptist church I like.

I honestly don't know whether to laugh at the ignorance in the discussion that ensued, or just get really annoyed at the fact that there are a bunch of intolerant religious fucks out there hating on derby. Okay, and granted, it was written three years ago and I just came across it now, but still? I don't think much would have changed.

I don't have anything against organized religion or anything like that, to be sure. If people all want to go around praising Jesus or whatever on their own time, that's fine. The judgement and assumptions is what I don't understand. It just strikes me as weird that people make the derby = lesbians = demon spawn jump so quickly. I was really amused at the reasoning for the lesbians thing though, since OF COURSE DERBY WOMEN RIDE MOTORBIKES TO PRACTICE! Where the fuck are we going to put all our gear on a bike, really? Oh, and also WE ALL DO DRUGS AT THE BOUT. Because that's totally what goes on in the sport, yes. I'm surprised nobody mentioned the blood orgy that happens at half time though, given the respondents' expertise in the area, clearly.

Sarcasm aside, I did like how the woman who did go ended up thinking that the women at derby were okay and not terrible sinners, and that her only complaint was that their skirts were too short. I suppose it could have been worse if she thought derby was so terrible that she left or had to pray for everyone there or douse the place in holy water or something, but she didn't say anything like that, just that they had short skirts.

I guess it's all baby steps though, right?
 

This is a statue of Big Butter Jesus in Ohio. The first time I drove
by it, it was dark and foggy and suddenly Jesus was just there and
looming out of the fog with these creepy lights on him. I'm surprised I
didn't crash right there. But it looks like he is saying NO PACK.