Getting into the olympic spirit, or something

There are two reasons why I'm making this post.

Firstly, the Sochi Olympics are on right now. I'm not a huge fan of the winter olympics, except (maybe not surprisingly) for the events that take place on skates. Not so much fancy ass figure skating stuff, but ice hockey and speed skating.

So here's my favorite winter olympics moment EVER: Steven Bradbury winning Australia's first ever gold medal at Salt Lake in 2002.

And he won it because he was so far behind everyone else in the finals he didn't get caught in the pileup. And that's also how he made it to the semis. And in the heats he didn't qualify but then someone who did got disqualified and he got bumped up. Yeah. That is seriously one of the greatest stories ever told RIGHT THERE.



But hey, that's in the past. Here's some NEW NEWS, speaking of speed skating:

Francey Pants is training for the Winter Olympics. YES. 2018 Winter Olympics in Pyeongchang, South Korea, here she comes. Is there anything that she can't do?!

You can read all about it in this article.

Backwards scrimmage!

So backwards skating is not a new thing in derby, but check out this video of Gotham having backwards scrimmage practice:

Also check out the awesome backwards crossovers on the red Jammer when she gets out of the pack!

Obviously this is much easier for the blockers, who can see the jammer coming and can wall up (e.g. look at how red's wall holds together and moves when the black jammer tries to make their way though). This is an excellent exercise in getting comfortable going backwards and blocking that way (look at some of those laterals), which of course would be useful for forwards derby.

Swork it baby, yeah

We've had some pretty bad weather the last couple of days, so right now outside looks something like this:

Brrrr.

At least the dog seems to be enjoying herself.

It also means yesterday and today I was literally trapped in the house since there was over a foot of snow outside my door and that involved lots of  pushing to squeeze out. Bleh. So there was a lot of pushing and lunges and whatnot to get the door open. And then I had to shovel a whole driveway, which turned out to be pretty good exercise for my core/back/puny arms. So even though I can't get to practice, there is still working out to do!

Stupid twerk face not included.

But if I was REALLY unable to even go the 10 feet around my house, I can still do some sort of exercise at home. I've downloaded this neat app for my phone called Sworkit. (Yeah, so whoever came up with the name was trying a portmanteau of "Circuit Training" and "Workout" and came out with some weird thing that sounds like a weird form of twerking or something.) I don't know, the word "twerk" is gross to me; it just looks aesthetically unpleasing. "Swork" is not much better. Oh well.

But anyway, basically Sworkit is a pretty customizable workout thing that you can do without very much space and without much equipment. The only thing I've seen that you might need is something to step onto for step-ups, but otherwise all you need is enough floor to stretch out. And if you want you can mix things up by adding weights that you might have around the house (read: skates) or whatever.

You just type in how long you want to work out for, what you want to do (stretching, cardio, even some random yoga stuff) and then it will set up a workout for you. And if you want you can mix it up, so like 5 mins stretching, 20 mins cardio, 10 mins stretching, or whatever.

Here is a list of all the exercises you can do. On your phone, there's even little pictures so you can see what you are doing, and if you get the upgraded PRO version (for 99c!!) it gives you access to youtube videos so you can see form and whatnot, and a nice British sounding robot lady who will tell you when to do the next exercise.

Heh, there's one called "Skater". :D

Okay, some of that shit is HARD. But I guess also if you're doing this then it also has the added bonus of keeping you warm when it is cold outside or something and thus lowering your heating bills while you stay in shape. Yeah.

Berry spinach smoothie

I just realized I have a tag called "I like food" and no actual recipes for derby awesomeness in this blog, so here is a quick and easy one to start with. I like this because it takes literally a minute to throw together and is healthy and tasty.

So, you just start with the following things:

For 1 person:

• 1 banana
• Baby spinach
• Orange juice
• Frozen mixed berries
• Protein powder (optional)

Haha, notice that I didn't put quantities of the things besides banana. That's because you can make this according to taste. Don't like spinach? Fine, put in less! Want more berries? However the hell madam pleases! That said, I usually do a big handful of spinach and maybe a cup of OJ. You can't taste the spinach anyway.

The method is pretty easy. Throw stuff in a blender. But if you use protein powder, put that in somewhere AFTER the juice but before the solid ingredients, or else you get weird powdery floaty chunks which aren't totally great.


And then blend it. Do 10 squats while it blends.

Depending on how much stuff you put in, your smoothie will be somewhere between pink and green. You won't be able to taste the spinach but you're getting a crapload of fresh vegies. And the smoothie is surprisingly filling, because the banana, protein powder and frozen berries thicken it considerably without making it all dairy-y and sludgy. I made one for Killy when she was staying with me and she said it was pretty good and she normally doesn't even eat breakfast.

So there you have it! I usually have one of these on bout days, or when I feel like I need to get energized for doing something (like derby practice or grading a bazillion papers). It is so quick and easy to put together that I've also managed to put a smoothie together while I was having a 30 second break in a workout so that it was ready to drink when I was done. :)

Protip: when you're done, wash the blender and glass right away because it looks like bad poop when you leave it and it dries.

A roller derby quiet book

You know those interactive books you get when you're a kid and it's all like "feel the bunny's fur" or "lift up this tab and see some random thing" or whatever, so that you'll get distracted from yelling and carrying on like a kid, and do fun activities instead? Well, now there's one for derby.

Obviously it's not in print or anything, but it should be! You can do derbyesque activities like dress the skater:

And get the ref to signal calls properly:

Cutting! Major!

And do an actual 3D bout!

Adorable! :D
(All pictures in this post are from this page.)

Pace line race

Have two lines, where a faster skater is paired up with a slower one. The faster skater gets the inside line.

Each pair of skaters seal together, and on the whistle, the back pair race to the front.

"Why is the fastest skater on the inside?" you might ask. The slower skater has to skate on the outside of the pace line, while the faster skater has to weave between the other sealed pairs in the pace line. So the faster skater has to travel further. Then when they get to the top of the line they reseal, and the next pair goes.

If you don't have a lot of people you can have a single pace line but alternate fast/slow people, so that when they get to the back you will have a pair of fast/slow people to race!

Also if it wasn't obvious by now:

New Year, New Gear

Workbench, computer desk dinner table, whatever.

Yay, so after Season's Beatings and over the break I got a bunch of fun new stuff for derby!! Here is what's new:

1. Helmet. It is a thing of beauty. And safety.

Bauer IMS 7.0 Custom Hockey Helmet
It's custom for my tiny head.

Yay!! I now have a hockey helmet which is supposed to be really good for not having concussions. That'd be nice. I had to order a custom helmet because all the head measurement sizes were so big for the hockey helmet and I guess a lot of stores didn't stock XS. But the custom was the same price as a non-custom, with the added bonus that I got to pick the colors of the little air venty things, which is why they are yellow, of course.

Lots of padding for my brain

The helmet also has a little ratchet thing on the back so it's more adjustable than just the chin strap, and the foam compresses enough to keep my brains in. It's removable and replaceable as over time it will compress (and not squish my head so much), but unlike the brainsaver lining in my other helmet, it's not washable. Not that I ever washed my helmet lining in the 2+ years I had that helmet but anyway... :P

i can haz face shield

I also have a face shield for it but I haven't been game to wear it yet, but hopefully this will stop me getting popped in the face like at the CVRG bout last year. We're actually scrimmaging with them this weekend so I guess that is a good reason to get that face shield installed. It just screws in with a regular screwdriver, so that's kind of cool. The downside of the new helmet is all my cool stickers are on my old one, sadface. :(

2. Bushings. I have only ever changed my bushings once (which I detailed here) but I got some new ones at beatings. They're orange and the same squishiness as my old bushings, so I know what to expect once they compress a bit. I did remember to adjust my trucks enough so that I can accomodate for them while they're new.

These remind me of fruit pastilles.

That said, when I replaced the bushings, I was NOT expecting them to be as grody as they were when I took them out. I've had them in for almost two years, and one thing is that there IS a noticeable size difference between them, from the compression on my trucks I guess. But that size difference was made up by an inordinate amount of crud and grime around the bushing, washers and kingpin. EW.

Even if I don't replace the bushings more frequently, I guess it's not a good thing to be skating on a sheet of fuzzy crud (some of which actually looked like dried spiders legs), so maybe more cleaning is required there.

3. Toe stops. I still love my moonwalkers but they're wearing a bit.

Yeah, these wore unevenly too.

They're still functional, but I have to rotate them regularly to make sure they're still useable. That's not a problem, but hey, they were selling toe stops at Beatings, so why not.

So Bionic came out with these giant ass toe stops (aptly named Super Stoppers) which are HUGE like elephant feet. Okay, not really, but they do have a LOT more surface area, which should be good for running on and pushing off of.

I had a bit of trouble getting used to the size (e.g. I would go to run on my skates and there'd be so much toe stop that I would be tripping on it), and there is a flat side to it so it's angled (unlike the moonwalkers, which were more round). So they will take a bit of time to get used to, but otherwise it's all good.

Holy giant toe stop area, Batman!

YAAAAAY, NEW STUFF!!